tell yourself that it's right?

we both have to face the facts.

clearly, sometimes people are going to like me better than you, and ask me to do stuff.

but other times, people are going to like you better than me, and you'll get to do some stuff.

and I'm not questioning your judgement right now, no, I already did this and I figured it's not worth it: every time I do that, either I or the others get to suffer.

and I would've done the same thing you did, I know. But it still hurts, and after beating myself up and down and all around this week regarding this tension which I still don't know where originates and why it exists, and how it got there, I have ran out of every earthly, realistic explanations. There's still one, and I know you'd be capable to make that the reason for everything you've put yourself and me through these past days, but I cling to the hope that it will not be this which has enabled you to shift like this, but something else.

Point is, I hope you come back, and everything will be like before.

I am sorry for what happened, I am, but I had no clue, even if you might find that hard to believe. I was just doing what I had been asked to do, enjoying it. And you have no idea what it meant for me to hear you say what you said. But if it helps you get the pain you need to carry on, then fine.

[And I really think i was at least a little better than you, and even you and your 'help' when it came to that. It may not be a fair comparison, and I am definitely biased, but I strongly felt that I did a better job than you two. And if it hadn't been for your words piercing my heart, you would've been even more upset than now, replacing what you did with what I did, and you realizing I was better. Indeed, you said it right, but I'm not taking over what you like so much although you want to make it look like a burden. No, I'm not that cruel, because I know what it means. And this time I'm not even telling you how wrong you are; because if this is what it takes to enable you and make you go on, then it's on me. I can't live without telling the truth, speaking my mind, and insulting you, and you can't live without me understanding you, coming back to brag and me bringing you back to the ground.

And neither one can live without ending up doing stuff together. You and I need one another to do the things that make us who we are, we need each other to accidentally be the fork in the road, to be at our crossroads, and cross each other's paths and influence each other.

And even if neither one doesn't act like it's a big thing, you and I both know exactly what this means for us.]